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Libido > Relationships and Libido

Finding Balance, happiness and harmony.

We all know that it takes two people to tango, and good communication to make it all work, but for innumerable reasons there are millions of men and women who just cannot build a successful relationship and then there are those questions on fidelity and open relationships.

The goal of this site is to stimulate intersex discussion on all the issues surrounding our more intimate life issues from how we live our daily lives, to how we communicate and enjoy real intimacy in the bedroom and the other places intimacy occurs.

We are all born into and raised within a cultural group complete with prejudices and biases, so by the time we are teenagers, our minds have been programmed to match as best as possible and to support the values of the community. Of course today, there are countless sub communities within the dominant cultural identity.

One of the big shifts in identity has been evolving over the past few centauries and is still ongoing. This is the shifting power balance between men and women and the changing cultural, religious and social political scene. If you look to our prehistoric past, this struggle between men and women has always occurred, however for the hunter gatherer tribes, men and women have been fairly equal in status and rights, but with the development of agriculture, women became subservient to men and at various times over the past 6000 years they have regularly sought not only equality, but to dominate men.

The suffragette movement and the development of the media for mass communication has helped to bring the inequity into sharper focus and over the past 100 years, we have learned to talk about equity and to find ways to come together in harmony which is actually happening for some individuals and couples, but the masses are lost in a mire of doubt and uncertainty which emerges as fear, protectionism and hostility which is played out through the power games that our children seem to be mastering at ever younger ages.

Today we find ourselves caught in a trap, a trap created only in our minds which is created by our conditioning and compounded by social politics that most of us; if we can remember,  in our teens we rebelled at to some extent. The rebels saw the hypocrisy and injustice, they felt and saw the effects of unreasonable and often uncontrolled force at work in their families and communities and sought change. In the 60's, the young got into flower power, yoga and meditation to seek the truth and reason for being and today, youth seem to have given up, they are turning to drugs and lies, learning to manipulate those around them for profit and drowning their conscience in alcohol.
 
Is There A Right Way to Live?
Ultimately there is no one way, however there is an important rule to live by and that is to do no harm.

If we take a trip around the world, the ideal Western relationship seems to be monogamy - that is finding a partner of the opposite sex and remaining faithful for one's entire life. However if we go to some more remote places on Earth, we will find polyandry a common practice with one woman enjoying several husbands. There is a good reason for this, it slows population growth and prevents the over exploitation of the environment, and hey, many women dream of having multiple partners but rarely all at the same time.. Then in other places we find polygamy where the male has several or many wives. There are reasons for this too: In a feudal society, the more children a man has means the more soldiers he will have to defend the homeland and workers to generate income.

Finding Resolution
This is a big subject and this is not going to be a treatise on sociology and politics, rather from here the discussion is moving toward tips and solutions for you to find deeper meaning and harmony in your life and relationships irregardless of how they look to an outsider. So here are some things you can do:
  • Trust - that the universe will support you in every way
    • learn who to trust and only share your dreams and ideas with those you feel are worthy and will not undermine you
  • Improve your communication skills
    • talk about feeling as difficult as it may seem, once you start, it gets easier
    • don't take yourself seriously - lighten up
  • Explore and make your sex life more enjoyable
    • do what ever it takes and even keep a dairy - it may be a best seller one day
    • good sex and orgasm is good for your health on all levels
      • we need an orgasm once a week to stay healthy

Articles to be expanded:
There are a great many types of relationships from teen crushes, love at first sight, falling in love by proximity or association,  when seeing another in life action, and then surviving the politics of living.

Sex between consenting people is the 'icing on the cake' in relationship. The day to day highs and lows of living can be transcended in the act of making love, and it is this celebration of each other.

There are many ways of making love and as intercourse should become more enjoyable over time. Most people have heard of the "Karma Sutra" found in the sex positions guides in which excellent, tasteful, explicit and well illustrated programs add variety and new experiences within love making.

Orgasm
The peak of sexual excitement, characterized by strong feelings of pleasure and by a series of involuntary contractions of the muscles of the genitals, usually accompanied by the ejaculation of semen by the male. Also called climax. A similar point of intensity of emotional excitement.
French orgasme, or New Latin orgasmus both from Greek orgasmos, from org, to swell up, be excited.




 

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