First interview

Dr Rees:
"Ahh Mr Jones, how can I help you?"

Mr Jones:
"Yes hello Dr I have a sense of growing unease within my life and I am not sure where it comes from or what causes it."

Dr Rees:
"The cause of the problem is not always obvious at first, so if you begin by simply telling me a little about your life and relationships, then I will ask you questions to help delve a little more deeply."

Mr Jones:
"Well Dr, I see it like this. I love and am faithful to my wife, who I have now been married to for 12 years and I have experienced all the normal stresses associated with raising two children, studying and advancing a couple of notches on the corporate ladder and few months I will be due for a salary increase, my wife, of course, is excited by this so much so that she is dreaming about a new and larger home and already spending the money I have yet to earn. But as much as I am becoming more successful there seems to be a part of me which is becoming more discontent and this is why I have come to see you."

Dr Rees:
"This is a very common sociological problem Mr Jones, for many people such a change requires that individuals have to reinvent who they are, which requires something of a shift in consciousness to adjust to the financial changes. There are also changes in the way that people relate to you and how you relate back to them. It is my belief that if we lived in a more equitable and honest society such a change would be less of a problem, as today there is a great deal of interpersonal conflict and competition which does not help to adjust. But tell me, how is the relationship with your wife?"

Mr Jones:
"I love and adore my wife, she is a very attractive woman, she keeps the house immaculate and her cooking is generally quite good. She is very good with people and remembers everybody's birthdays, although sometimes I wish that she sometimes spend a little less on presents and decoration."

Dr Rees:
"And what is the atmosphere in your home like, do you argue much with your wife, or are the children unusually annoying or frustrating?

Mr Jones:
"Not at all, compared to most families I know, our house is remarkably peaceful. We do enjoy the occasional argument because it really helps to clarify things and we always enjoy making up afterward. We have a boy aged 12 and a girl aged 11 and while they do test outpatients and parenting skills from time to time, but they are much better behaved than many children we know of."

Dr Rees:
"So tell me about your social life, do you go out very often or do you entertain?"

Mr Jones:
"Yes, we usually go out somewhere at least once a month, sometimes to a movie or the theatre, and quite often there are either extended family or work related to the parties to go to and probably we have people over to dinner every few weeks, so yes social life is quite busy sometimes."

Dr Rees:
"So far your life sounds typical of millions of working men, how many hours a week do you work?"

Mr Jones:
"I have sometimes thought that I am simply so typical, so normal, so conforming that this is my problem and that some part of myself simply wants to be different, but over the past year my working hours have increased and I often spend 50 or 60 hours a week but if I add traveling time then its probably more like 70 or 80 hours that I'm away from home, which is fairly normal."

Dr Rees:
"Yes, I realize that this is very typical in our society and it seems to be an expectation in the corporate world that they demand so much of their executives and perhaps you should think about reducing your hours as this must put some strain on your family life as is typical of a great many fathers they see very little of their families and become a little separated. So what about your sex life?"

Mr Jones:
"I guess we are probably about average, generally we have sex once or twice a week. About six weeks ago the children were away for a week and we had sex three times on Sunday and again on Tuesday, but it was a full week before we did it again."

Dr Rees:
"Yes, this is what most people think of as fairly normal and you must have had some time this when you went for weeks without sex or even months, especially when your wife was pregnant, so can you tell me if your sex life is satisfying for you and do you both orgasm?"

Mr Jones:
"Oh yes, when she was pregnant, those times were a bit of a long drought for me as she was not particularly keen to have sex as often and I think that that may have influenced my decision to get a vasectomy, but yes, we both orgasm. actually, I'm quite lucky because I believe she is quite unusual in that she will orgasm after about two or three minutes sometimes and generally it pleases me that I can satisfy her quite easily."

Dr Rees:
"A woman that can orgasm in two or three minutes is indeed unusual today as most women seem to be much harder to please, but after she has had her orgasm, what happens then, you keep giving her more orgasms or do you come as well?"

Mr Jones:
"No, if she is tired then usually after she has her orgasm she will simply say she has had enough and go to sleep and I don't always come myself which occasionally is a little frustrating but I also get some satisfaction that I can please her so easily as I have learned that there are many men out there who are incapable of fully satisfying their wives in that way."

Dr Rees:
"Yes I understand this and it sounds like you are very fortunate that you can please her so easily, but are you truly satisfied and what happens if she rolls over to sleep and you are not finished?"

Mr Jones:
"There are times when she has fallen so deeply into sleep that I am simply masturbate, but there have been other times when I have insisted on my own satisfaction and she has been obliging enough after a little pressure and forplay from me to continue and then by the time I have come, she has also had another three or four orgasms."

Dr Rees:
"It sounds to me that sexually you are not always satisfied and I'm sure you realize that the act of sex itself is a way for you to regenerate and recover your energy. So if you are not completely satisfied how do you keep on going?"

Mr Jones:
"Well, after she has orgasmed, she sleeps very soundly without wriggling around and pulling of the bed covers, which also gives me a much better night's sleep. Of course I feel much better on those times that we orgasm together which I find makes me feel more connected to her."

Dr Rees:
"From what you are saying Mr Jones, is that you are a very accepting and tolerant man and while you're relationships at home may not be totally satisfying you have made a conscious decision to get by, But yet you seem to be feeling that somewhere there is a dissatisfaction that you need to address and there are two apparent issues the first being that you are not completely satisfied sexually, and that your work seems to be taking more than an appropriate amount of time, please tell me about your work and some of the relationships have around you."

Mr Jones:
"I work in a typical concrete and glass environment punctuated with a little greenery, but we are quite a big company spread over 10 floors of the building and we have almost 1800 staff members. Within all of that I have my own small office and a secretary who we get along very well with, but then we all seem to get on with each other very well."

Dr Rees:
"And what about your secretary and the other female staff members, how do you see them, what I mean is do you see the as physically attractive with desirable and do you have much interaction with them?"

Mr Jones:
"Actually, my secretary is a rather large woman who flirts outrageously with everybody but my wife approves of her and she is a very good secretary, my colleague in the next office is a very attractive woman who dresses a little provocatively and there are rumors around that she is trying to sleep her way to the top. We have to collaborate quite a lot and sometimes I find her body a little distracting, especially when she leans forward on my desk and I can't help but peek down her blouse . But then I think sometimes she simply enjoys being a tease as quite often curing some of our discussions she will shift in the chair and it's impossible not to see under her skirt."

Dr Rees:
"You are saying that you see a lot of this woman, and that as you cannot keep your eyes off her, you must find her sexually attractive. How do you deal with that and how does she treats you?"

Mr Jones:
"Yes I have to remind myself I'm a married man, of course it's hard not to look at any pretty woman, and even my wife understands that and occasionally she cautions me to make sure that I am only looking and not touching. How does she treat me? That depends on a little on the day, if she wants something urgently she will use more of her body to distract me and in her spech and manners she is very nice, but mostly we are simply colleagues working together but when we attend a staff gathering, she makes me feel as though I am simply another office boy or should I say simply another unavailable married man."

Dr Rees:
"So tell me, how does that make you feel, how do you cope with this and are there any other woman in your office you feel attracted to?"

Mr Jones:
"Sometimes I feel a little annoyed or frustrated and quite a few times I have relieved myself bathroom but while this woman is my principal antagonist, there are another 6 to 8 attractive woman in the vicinity of my office who all have a reputation for being easy to bed and sometimes on these occasions I feel distracted by them, if my wife and I can have sex, it seems to restore my equilibrium."

Dr Rees:
"Well, Mr Jones, it sounds to me as though you have quite a good grasp of what's going on in and around your life and you are strong enough to resist the temptation to be unfaithful. It is very admirable that you are able to contain these emotions and remain faithful to your spouse and I do not think that there is anything wrong with you, it is simply a matter of being able to adjust to the changing world in a way in which you are comfortable, but obviously your concern is developing or you would not come to see me but hopefully from this short conversation you may have gained some insight. You said earlier that you are anticipating an increase in salary and from what I understand of corporate affairs, you will also be taking on some new responsibilities which will actually increase the pressures within your life. So think about what we have said and come back and see me in three months time when you have settled into your new role."

Mr Jones:
"Yes, Dr I'll do that, thanks for your time, goodbye."

Second interview

Dr Rees:
"Hello Mr Jones, how nice to see you again. During our last interview you spoke of a developing anxiety which I think is associated with sexual dissatisfaction and a lack of intimacy. But before we talk about these issues can you please summarize the changes in your work and if there are any differences in your relationships, or changes you have made."

Mr Jones:
"Yes, my promotion came through although I am still in the same office, I also have a very pretty new secretary, I told you about my sexy colleague in the next office, well I am now her boss and I learned that I got the promotion over her which she was none too happy about and although I don't see her as often, her behavior is still the same and I am finding that I get warm smiles and seem to have a better relationship with all the staff on my floor. But unfortunately, while my working hours are still the same. I am now obliged to have a longer lunch break which is essentially a business lunch with my senior colleagues and instead of going home and eating a big meal of the evening, I make my lunch my meal of the day and have a light meal of the office in the evening. so now. So now Monday to Saturday I leave home at 7:30 AM and rarely get home before 9 PM which means I do not see a great deal of my family."

Dr Rees:
"Such changes are inevitable for anyone climbing the corporate ladder and, as I have already established there is nothing wrong with you, what we need to do is to work out how you are going to satisfy your personal needs. In such a way that you can continue functioning to live your life and to be happy. So how have this change has impacted on your family life and your sex life in particular?"

Mr Jones:
"Well, I must be honest and say that the frustration I am feeling is growing, especially as I can go three or four days without seeing the children and as for sex, well, that's only happened twice in the past three weeks although on the weekend of my promotion my wife gave me a nice massage with some excellent forplay and we have the best sex that I have had for months but now I am being frustrated because she wants to spend more money than can be covered by my salary increase."

Dr Rees:
"It almost seems like you have jumped out of the frying pan and into the fire If you can excuse this old colloquialism. I think it's time you took a reality check, you really want to continue your journey on the corporate ladder to a position of rank, authority, and better remuneration within your company. You have a wife who, while she is sexually receptive and you are able to please her quite easily. Yet you yourself are often less than satisfied but to make matters worse you are working in a situation where you are constantly exposed to attractive and sometimes rather provocative woman who are possibly available sexually and it's not surprising you are experiencing this growing sense of frustration.

You have many options open to you, out of love of your wife and commitment to your family, you could of course downsize your job so that you work more agreeable hours to spend more time with your family. You could also talk to your wife so that she can understand your frustration and cooperate by becoming more adaptable to your sexual needs. Alternatively, and I am not suggesting that you do this, but this is simply an option and it is a popular option I might add used by a great many business people today that you take your frustration out by having a sexual relationship with one of the available girls in your office, or avail yourself of the services of a sex worker or for a slightly safer alternative, try a masseuse who provides a happy ending."

Mr Jones:
"All those things have crossed my mind but I have a strong sense of commitment and faithfulness to my wife and family and although I'm not particularly religious person, somehow it seems to be to immoral to have sex outside of my relationship but I do know that many of the men and women in our company sleep around, but the trouble is, there is quite often a little gossip generated and everybody knows, although nobody really seems to care. But then there are also many other issues that may arise, like I may decide that a new partner is sexually better than my wife or events may transpire to break up my marriage, or that if I sleep with the girl at work that may affect chances of future promotion."

Dr Rees:
"I'm pleased to hear that you have been considering these points because they are vitally important. Of course you can simply continue as you are at the moment and endure the frustration and the lack of intimacy that you're feeling, however, in the long term this can cause a physical illness and often because the heart is so unhappy, heart disease in men is steadily increasing. So if you are to get sick being unable to work or if you died, how would that affect your family?"

Mr Jones:
"I love my family very much and would not want to do anything to cause upset but I do realize that enduring a problem like this could be more harmful to my health and my life over a long period. But I am also concerned with my faithfulness to my wife and she has made it very clear that as far as my penis is concerned, it is for her and her alone and you will remember back to the saga of Bill Clinton and his idea that oral sex was not really sex and therefore could not be seen as an act of unfaithfulness. While most of us simply laughed about this and gave it little thought, my wife made it clear that as far as she was concerned, this was an act of unfaithfulness and if she discovered I was being unfaithful, she would chop off my penis although I don't believe she could ever do such a thing as she has a good sense of trying hard not to hurt or harm anyone, and she is probably incapable of doing anything like this rather simply that she is expressing her idea of commitment and faithfulness."

Dr Rees:
"You have expressed yourself very well and the only other option I can suggest is for you both to attend counseling sessions where you would have the support to ask her for what you need and then I can give her directions to develop the skills to care for her husband's sexual and emotional needs and this would require some work on her part."

Mr Jones:
"She is very settled in life and I cannot imagine her stepping outside what she already knows and is capable of doing. Before we met, I had some very good lovers, some of whom were more challenging and others who are more rewarding and I married her because I knew she would make a good mother, be faithful and be a good wife. But perhaps I did not realize I would miss the deep sexual intimacy I have experienced in the past. But for now, unless you have any further suggestions, I should get back to the office and after I've had time to contemplate this conversation may I come and see you again?"

Dr Rees:
"Of course Mr Jones, I look forward to our next meeting, have a good day."

Third interview

Dr Rees:
"Hello Mr Jones its nice see you again, how is everything?"

Mr Jones:
"It seems that some events are transpiring, which are actually beyond my control. Two weeks after our last conversation I was called to a meeting with our vice president, we had quite a lengthy discussion about my view of the business and then he questioned me quite closely about my home life and relationships, and essentially he warned me that the role I was playing with the company would be very challenging for my wife and family as I was giving so much of my time to the company, and he asked me about my personal life, everything from what I ate to how much I exercised, and even how often I had sex. I was rather surprised but I was even more surprised by his frankness as he quite candidly told me that while he also had a wife and family that he seldom saw and yet he loved them dearly, he and his wife had developed something of an open relationship, as being separated by business, they both knew and understood they needed deep and intimate sexual relationships.

It was almost lunchtime and I thought our meeting would be over but then he said to me that since I don't do much exercise it's about time I started because an executive who is not fit both physically and mentally, adding that while I seem to have the mental potential. I had better look after the physical and he took me to the company gym and we had a very pleasant 40 min workout after which he said to me he understood that I was faithful to my wife, but a massage would make me feel very good and it seemed I had no choice except to go along with this rather attractive young woman who simply materialized, let me away and as well is relieving some of the stress on my back and legs, she touched parts of me in a way that had not been touched like that for 15 years or so."

Dr Rees:
"So did you feel guilty or did it change your behavior and manners towards your wife?"

Mr Jones:
"Actually I'm more inclined to feel guilty that I enjoyed myself so much on company time and indeed I felt a lot better in my body and had a very productive afternoon. On my way home that evening I did feel a little guilty and thought about buying flowers but then I realized that that's what guilty husbands usually do, as that often taking flowers home to one's wife. Even when was done with the most sincere motive was often a cause of a wife to become suspicious of her husband, but I was feeling very good and simply told her that I had had a successful meeting with the vice president, then we had sex after which she was very happy and wanted to simply roll over and slumber but I insisted that I was not done yet and then she had five more orgasms before I was done."

Dr Rees:
"You are quite clearly a very intelligent man and you can understand that morals and social values are learned traits which assist us to get get by in the context of our society and yet when it comes to Fidelity. It is simply a matter of degree that one may stray, for instance; there are some quite well-known cases of priests who see all these beautiful young women in the congregation but their beliefs prohibit them from fulfilling their desires and most often they simply relieved themselves and their privacy of their bedroom or bathroom while others go on to become pedophiles. Then, on the other extreme you have men and women who are highly promiscuous and yet emotionally and intellectually and even spiritually tey remain committed to one partner and they see sex as something physical, just like eating or drinking.

There have been a few reported cases of people who felt so committed to each other they vowed to go to such extremes as to not eat unless the other was present but of course such vows proved impossible to keep and when it comes to sexual relationships in today's world there is a general consensus that around 60% of all people indulge in some form of sexual activity outside of the defined relationship. But within modern psychology, there is an understanding that almost everyone is unfaithful to some degree beginning from simply looking with appreciation or lust at another person. So Mr Jones, straying a little from the primary relationship while it may be immoral in the dictates of society, almost everyone does it to some degree, so you can take a little comfort that you are not alone and do not wish to sow seeds of doubt in your wife. I am sure she is not perfect as she will at least be having those admiring glances at other men if not going further, and this is something I know simply because I am a woman. Now you said two weeks after our last conversation, well, that's almost 10 weeks ago so what else has happened? "

Mr Jones:
"Actually the nice but slightly naughty massage was the first of many and for a few weeks it really boosted my sex drive, and my wife asked several times how come I seem to have more energy these days, which I simply attributed to my enjoying my work and being pleased to come home to my happy family and indeed they all seemed to be very happy. But then I found I had to work harder to get her interested in sex and she told me that since I was working so hard and doing so well in the company she did not want to make me tired and that she was quite happy having sex just once or twice a month. I must say I was disappointed but reluctantly agreed with her for the sake of peace and quiet and keeping the house running smoothly. That conversation was on a Saturday night, then on Sunday we had a very pleasant out the whole family, including my brother and his wife and kids. Then on the Monday as well is doing my late morning workout in the gym, I was given a general medical examination before I went off with the masseuse who was as chatty and friendly as ever and when I rolled over for her to do my front-side I lay there, watching her and she worked on my legs."

Dr Rees:
"Is she pretty and desirable?"

Mr Jones:
"Oh yes very pretty, she has lovely long legs and a slim waist with an ample bust, a strong face with long blonde hair almost to her bottom.”

Dr Rees:
"And what does she wear?"

Mr Jones:
"On the day I'm talking about she is wearing some black lacy underwear from Victoria's Secrets and when she came close enough for my hands to reach. I ran my fingers up and down the back of her thigh which she seemed to rather enjoy as she did not step away even when my fingers went between her legs and close to her pussy. In fact she seemed to make it easier and what her hands were doing soon gave me an erection. Then she said 'My my Mr Jones, are you feeling horny? I said I was and I fumbled to feel into her panties, but she made it easy and stripped completely, climbed on the table and wow, that was the best sex I'd had in years."

Dr Rees:
"My, my, indeed, it sounds like you have come along way. Was this a once only or are you repeating the exercise and how is this effecting your primary relationship?"

Mr Jones:
"Actually, everything seems to be rather pleasant, I find that we are having sex every 2 to 3 weeks and my wife is accommodating my desire to follow through to completion and my sexual stamina has never been better, so much so that I can now make love for a long time, almost like I get into a roll for a flow which makes me feel rather high and it certainly helps work afterward."

Dr Rees:
"That sounds quite admirable and you are fortunate to have such a willing masseuse, so are you simply cultivating this relationship with her?"

Mr Jones:
"Actually, there are nine or 10 different masseuses who all work part-time and I have had sex with four of them now and what I don't see the vice president there very often he joked that I was becoming something of a stud and that he was pleased that the girls liked me and hoped that my efforts would translate into success and profit for the company and that seems to be working out just fine, But my cute former colleague who still comes into my office two or three times a day and looks just as sexy as ever, well I finally got around to seducing her. It was not hard, she needed help with a difficult assignment and those usual she approached her normal flirtatious way lingering a little as she leaned over my desk putting some papers in front of me. In the past I would do my best to look up at her eyes, but this time I let my eyes wander on the fullness of her breasts and I asked her if her bra was from Victoria's Secrets. She said no, but thanks for noticing and we made a time to work on this in the evening. It took considerable effort on my part to actually create space to accommodate her but really her project was quite simple. She came in on time at 8:30 PM and I'm sure her skirt was two or 3 inches shorter than it had been that afternoon. Running through her project took about half an hour and as the time passed, we had progressively more body contact and when we finished a later over the desk and fucked her silly for about an hour before I began to get anxious about returning home. She was so enthusiastic we could have stayed there all night but I arrived home just in time to have a quick shower and say good night to my family."

Dr Rees:
"It sounds to me like you have gone from being a wimp to a much more confident person at these past months, although I would expect that you may occasionally have feelings of remorse or guilt surfacing from time to time. But it also sounds like your senior colleagues are also helping to shift your consciousness and help you adapt to the changes in your life. I suspect you do not need to see me again but should the need arise you're most welcome at any times I have wished that more of my clients were as pleasant and as easy to help as you.

Mr Jones:
"Thank you Dr, I've enjoyed and learn from our conversations, so perhaps you will see me again, lets just wait and see so bye for now."

Fourth interview

Dr Rees:
"Hello Mr Jones, how lovely to see you again. It's been over a year since I last saw you and I must say you are looking very well, so what would you like to talk about today this is so urgent?

Mr Jones.
"Hello Dr, thanks for fitting me in at short notice and wow! Your appearance has gone through something of a transformation as my life has, you look fantastic."

Dr Rees:
"Thank you Mr Jones, I have finally started listening to my friends as well is taking some of my own advice and I am taking better care of myself. But please tell me now, what has changed in your life and what has suddenly become so urgent."

Mr Jones:
"Since I saw you last, my hours of work changed as I had another promotion and I was finding that I had scarcely enough time to sleep before it had to return to work, I rented a small apartment near the office, but we have also bought a new and slightly larger house not far from our old one. so now I generally start work at around 6:30 or 7 AM and work through until 11 and then go and workout at the gym for an hour. then I will have my massage sometimes with a happy ending or sex depending on how I feel. Then I will have lunch and be back in the office by 2 PM and work through until about 9 PM. Within the office there are a dozen woman that I have had sex with and I have even bedded some of our female clients. Now that I am in senior management, I also get occasional trips to meetings out of town and been to a couple of staff training camps.

Of course, my children have become teenagers, they are doing well at school and do not seem to be at risk of developing antisocial tendencies, but I am very fond of my daughter and she is very fond of me but unfortunately I only get to see them on the weekends, but four weeks ago she asked me if I could see something my city life see so I invited her to come and stay the night. Actually, she came to the office about 10:30 AM and I showed her around the office before we went out and had lunch then I took her back to my apartment and returned to work but that early so we could have dinner together and then we went to the theatre to see Cats and that night she slept on my couch. But during our conversations she let slip that her mother had been unhappy over the past few weeks and yet I had not detected this, mind you it is difficult for me because I'm only home on weekends. Anyhow, I did some investigating an officer with my wife has had several affairs and her unhappiness was simply that one of them had ended. However, she does not know that I know, but it is weighing on my mind and since I'm having sex with so many different women. I have no right to complain or object but a part of me thinks that since we are both faithful to each other, perhaps we should get a divorce. But the idea of the mess that would make of our lives is a very unpleasant prospect of it also feel that I love her very much and although it does not happen very often the sex we had last weekend was better than it has been for some time speak this is possible because she is beginning to recover from her last breakup. But I have pretty much decided that we do not need a divorce but perhaps that needs to be some resolution between us so that we do not have to maintain the secrecy."

Dr Rees:
"Yes, I see Mr Jones, you are in something of a predicament but as you are keeping your extramarital relationships within the confines of the corporate structure and very private. There is probably little risk that you would ever be discovered and as your wife seems to be stepping out without the benefit of corporate protection and as you have learned, she is more at risk than you are.

Now you both have a partnership in your home, your children and all your extended family and friends, and to break that maybe a tragedy, or it may be a transformation into something new and better depending on your point of view. Within my training as a therapist and the evidence of all the research. There is no definition as to what is best, but certainly the breakup causes the most heartache and pain for everyone involved, whereas the adaption to changing circumstances by simply accepting the changes as being natural and normal.

To illustrate this point, in Britain after World War II, the country had lost such a large percentage of men that there were hundreds of thousands of wives whose husbands never came home, but out of compassion, a great many of the wives of those men who did come home were relaxed enough in their attitudes that they willingly shared their husbands with those woman who had lost theirs.

So you see, Mr Jones, today’s society is structured as it is simply in order for it to grow in a social, political, predictable and manageable way so that most people get to experience some degree of autonomy and freedom. Of course, autonomy and freedom is determined by wealth and position in this society, and all our moral rules are simply rule is constructed to maintain and develop society, however they are not strictly speaking 'humane' in the full meaning of the word. As we know we have cultures around the world that practice either polygamy or polyandry and I don't believe there is any fundamental humane or spiritual absolute law which must be followed in this regard. It is simply a freedom of choice as to how we live our lives and construct our relationships.

From what you have told me of your life and relationships. I would counsel against any kind of separation and advise caution in even discuss this with your wife and I would suggest that you wait for her to confess if he so chooses, which will then give you the opportunity to be the ideal loving and understanding husband, who out of some regret for not being there always meet the needs will consent to her having the occasional affair perhaps with a caution that she does not fall into deeply and feel hurt afterward."

Mr Jones:
"Yes, there is quite a lot in what you say and your view seems to concur with some of my senior colleagues and I expect I will take your advice, thanks again for for squeezing me in.

Dr Rees:
"If I can be of further help, please come again, goodbye Mr Jones."