In most Western communities monogamy is the ideal,  personal opposite gender friends can arouse fear and suspicion, infidelity the grounds for divorce.  We propagate these behaviours and continue to learn and refine them, but are our social behaviours natural?

Looking back through Western history from our current moral high ground, the citizens influenced by church and state have chosen what works.  But not all agree with what we now have,  there are other traditions:

In Tibet, the landscape is harsh, the living hard and the land not able to carry a large population. There women often took several husbands which helped to limit population growth and for the women, gave more experience.

In the Middle East, harems, one man with may wives were popular, in these societies more wives helped to achieve wealth and political power. It denied many men the joys of knowing a wife when the task of men without power was toil, commerce and aggression.

Exploration in small open communities throughout the world following the sexual liberation of the 60's showed that many ways of relating are possible, and now open relationships abound, some successful, some not.

Within humanism, the best traits of humanity, love, affection, family, compassion, kindness, are unaffected by sexual desire or  expression.  It seems that a good heart is a good heart whether single, married, straight, gay or whatever..

Our sexuality has been well explored, humanity has been reviewed, as a world we are becoming better informed, better able to appreciate our unique sexuality, and to seek out ways to experience human love, and some desires not acceptable to the rules of state and church. 

My husband is not big enough for me to have a vaginal orgasm, so he got me a lover with a larger penis and it has been incredible I'm completely satisfied, and it makes him happy.

If your partner/ husband can't find sexual satisfaction in his relationship with you,  would you get a lover or one for him or support his taking one or many?  If sounds fair and reasonable especially if it works both ways and if it works with a clear conscience, we can all become satisfied, if we don't find satisfaction, misery may endure.